MY BEAUTIFUL BOYS ARE 12!

Happy Birthday to my very handsome and talented twins!! They are 12 today and it is hard to believe it.. it was not that long ago, I would cry in my closet because they were driving me nuts. I have not done that for years, thank goodness.... Funny when one of your children have a birthday how reflective the day is.. I feel kind of weepy today, 12 marks the very beginning of the teen years. The baby faces , that I love to squeeze, change , and so does the need for Mom... I hope they know how much I love them even when I am spazzing out,,,, They are truly amazing kids,,,,, Love you boys!!! xoxox MOM

New Shoes?

I am bored and that could mean trouble..Maybe a new pair of shoes? Maybe two? I hate being this bored..... 8 more sleeps....

Romance...?

Where the heck has the romance gone? Because I sure have not seen it in ages. I don't mean flowers and chocolate romance, although flowers are nice, especially when they are given to you on a Monday, just because it's Monday. I mean the little things, like a kiss here and there. Or a slight brush of his hand on my back, while doing the dishes. I am seeking words, kind words, like "you look cute today". Or even an "I love you" ,in the middle of the day, not just before bed. It would be shocking to have a night planned by him,and not by me,and not "Hey here is some wine, lets get it on!" I mean a night that may have taken some effort to plan. Geesh I have dresses , sexy dresses, that I have never worn, because you can't exactly wear them to wine nights, in your own home. Or maybe I should.

I know that after 17 years, things fade, but I don't think wanting to be noticed ever fades. I wish men could remember that, well mine anyway. I guess I will have to reach into my memory bank, and treasure the few things, he has done for me, which made me go "ga ga", it's all I have....

Status

I am reading a wondefrul book ,"Snow Flower and The Secret Fan", by Lisa See. It tells of the tale of a woman in early China, her life , and what what she had to endure. I have only begun the story but was completely oblivious to the way Chinese women obtained status, in their communities. I always knew of foot binding, but reading how it was done, made my stomach turn. The process was excrutiating, and one in 10 girls died, from infection. From the time a girl was born the mother would prepare for the foot binding, which usually occurred at the age of 6-8. The younger the better. The whole process took 2 years! I wont go into details, but I can assure you , I doubt I would have survived it. The woman with the smallest and most dainty feet, were the prized possessions. Even if you were from a lower social family, if your feet were binded correctly and the end result was perfection, then your families status would rise, because you would be married to someone important. Even before the girls are bound, they are looked over, by a Diviner, to see if their feet will be worthy. If they are then the family must prepare for this, by saving for the dowry, remember the girls are 6.

The girls are taught basic principals to Live by ." WHEN A GIRL OBEY YOUR FATHER; WHEN A WIFE, OBEY YOUR HUSBAND; WHEN A WIDOW OBEY YOUR SON. BE CHASTE, AND YEILDING, CALM AND UPRIGHT IN ATTITUDE; BE QUIET AND AGGREEABLE IN WORDS; BE RESTRAINED AND EXQUISTITE IN MOVEMENT; BE PERFECT In HANDIWORK AND EMBROIDERY.. Live by these principals and you will grow to be a virtuous woman.



The book has made me realize how far women have come , but also made me sensitive to how woman have achieved independence. It is because of all the suffering from the woman before us, we are able to stand on our own two feet.

This book is very good and I recommend it to anyone who likes history, and a good story of friendship, and hardships......

My Foster Child...

Today my foster child, who I have had for over 7 years, sent me a letter today. Him and his family wrote to me and told me they loved me. They said that they were so excited to receive the little gifts and pictures I sent them at Xmas. They were so grateful for key chains, books, and crayons. I actually cried when I read their letter because we take for granted all the things we have , which make our life easier. This family, who lives in Brazil, doesn't even have a toilet. I will continue to be a Foster Parent, because I do believe I am making a difference ,in this families life.

What is with My Lips?

Why can I not wear lipstick? It is like my lips are rejecting the stuff. I do not have much in the lip department, so I need something on them.

I line my lips, put on the stick and think O.K it is on. I walk away, maybe to get my coat, put on my shoes, and check one more time, and Yep, it is already leaving my lips.

I have tried the tricks, I read in the magazines, but they have not helped me, in my quest, to keep lipstick on my lips.

I have resorted to wearing lip gloss now, at least there is something on these lips that seem to have a mind of their own.

Look at us!

Judy and Marge cling to one another as they enter the cold water ever so cautiously. . Hats to protect their greying hair, or maybe their balding heads. Not a care in the world, just enjoying each other's company and the sand between their toes.

That is the way life should be....

Stuck in a Truck!

Yes, I was stuck in a truck. It's not what you think though. After 2 hours of driving we arrive at camping destination and its raining! So my wonderful husband does what he can, in the down pour, to get the trailer set up. It is taking a long time, due in part to the fact he has decided to get a beer with another family. Leaving me in the truck with 3 boys, who are very antsy. They were flicking eachother, poking, and taunting. Of course I asked, in my nice voice, "please settle down, and be quiet." I asked that at least 3 times, but to no avail. They just kept on being crazy. I really was trying to just sit there and just be patient. I was saying to myself, "you can do this , it's not much longer. Please God make this rain go away for 10minutes so we can get set up. Then the boys can run free,like wild animals." Nope.... its now 20 minutes, and I am starting to feel very tight in my neck, and kinda vibrating. I have already raised my voice, flicked a kid, and I am ready to blow. The kids think I am mean, but I know better, I am on the verge of a breakdown and it isnt going to be pretty! The rain did start to subside, and I flew open the truck door and ran out. "Boys you can stay in here if you want but I am out of here!" They looked at me with bewildered faces, and got out. I didnt see them for a while and that was alright with me, and I later told Mike, "that could have been the worst 30 minutes of my life, really..." Of course you get over these things, the trailer was all set up and supper started, glass of wine in tow. The weekend actually was pretty good despite the crappy rain, that is the wonder of boys, even though the weather was not good they still go outside!!!

Unbreakable Bonds

"A TRUE FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE SOUND HEALTH THE VALUE IS SELDOM KNOWN UNTIL LOST................."

Today I am thinking a lot about friendships and how they mean the world to me.I have never been one to have dozens of friends, but rather to have a close few. My dearest and best friend,we have been friends now since the 80's, yes the 80's. I think its been about 23 years now. I think I met her when I was 16. Back then alot of my friends just kind a deserted me, when I had my baby in high school. Not her, she was the one, who would go for walks, or wiener roasts, or horse back riding, with myself and my son. She even moved in with me, my last term of University. It was a life saver for me, in so many ways. I wonder if she knows that? As years go by, and we have been married, divorced, had babies, been through deaths, good times, university, jobs,,, and the list goes on.. She is there,, and I am there for her. Our lives keep changing and evolving but our friendship still remains strong. I have not found many people who have a long friendship like ours, kinda like the diamond in the rough..or a needle in haystack,, very hard to find. As the end of the month approaches, we will be spending some time ,in Banff, alone, no kids! We try to do this once a year, it is so much fun just to hike, hang out and laugh. I can not wait to pick her up at her house, and see the excitment she and I try to refrain from showing,,to her husband ( mine too) Then when the car door shuts and wait til we are out of the drive way..we exclaim :"WOO HOO!!!" And high five one another. I really can't wait!!!

GUESS WHAT????

STRESSED IS DESSERTS spelled backwards............Oh my that answers so many questions..LOL..

Today I found old poetry,,,

Poetry I wrote when my youngest was about 3 years old. After reading it I felt so bad for writing some of the things I wrote, and did. I actually thought if I die and someone finds this they are going to think I was crazy. I think I was on the brink of some mental break down back then, obviously I felt it or I wouldn't have written about it. Those were hard years , from the time he was 2 until I would say 5. Even today though, I often do not have the patience with him, and wish it was bedtime. Things have dramatically improved though, since he has learned that his behaviours do have consequences , and he knows right from wrong. Back then in his first years of life, he had no concern for the people he hurt, the rules he broke or the things he ruined. ADHD is like that..they are impulsive, have little regard for rules, and have so much energy you dont know how to harness it. Today he still has an overabundance of energy, and he is so relentless it drives me to drink, serioulsy some days I need one. If the energy is not being harnessed in some productive way, he will find an unproductive way to use it. Every day is a new story around here. Thank goodness I have read about many many people with ADHD that have become extremely successful, and are very intelligent ..I know my son is very smart it's just sometimes he doesn't want to use that intelligence in the best ways. So my poetry today, is more about the things I see happening with his growth, the good things that have happened since the days I was a wreck. I never thought I would get through those days, and I used to go to bed, and think what will tomorrow bring, what things will happen that will test my patience. Now I go to bed and think about the progress he has made, and the future he will have. It's been a long road to get here, and he is only six!! I know there will be many ,many more challenges ahead for me, and him, but I think I am handling it a lot better now, and with less drinks too !! LOL...

ESCAPE===

THE CRACK OF THE ICE

THE SWISH OF THE SHAKER

THE POURING OF THE ART

THE TASTE OF THE FORBIDDEN

WANDERING OF THE MIND

THE PERFECT HIGH

THE GREATEST ESCAPE.....

OUCH MY ACHING BODY!

OUCH!! OUCH!!! Today my body is totally in pain, from my neck to my toes! I have worked out very hard this week , training for the triathlon in a few weeks, and I am paying for it today. I can't even sit without cringing in pain. I went to the gym today and did a light work out, I skipped the boot camp class, because I knew that would do me in. I did get called a wimp, for not going, but when your body parts feel like they might snap off, it's best I listen to it.. I am trying to get some things done around here, and having a hard time even vacuuming. I am sure by tomorrow the pain will subside, in the meantime, I am not going to exercise tomorrow,take a day off to relax these wound up muscles! Oh yes, and the massage I have today will definately help!!! I am so looking forward to it in a few hours!

mistakes

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."

Just Pondering...

about so many things today. Like how lucky I am to stay home and get groceries when I want. I remember when I worked full time what a chore that was. I thought about how lucky I am to be able to go to the gym when I want. Gone are the days I have to wake up at 6:00am to get to the gym. Which of course brings me to the weight game, this week I am focussing on how strong I am. How I can run, bike, swim, walk, lift weights do classes, and not really die when I am doing those activities. I watched Oprah today,and cried, and thought " I have to live this life to the fullest, because you never know when it will be taken from you ..( and be an organ donor!!!!). " I looked around my house and smiled, at what I have and what Mike and I have built. A home for a great bunch of boys ,who for the most part bring us so much joy..not always..but mostly. So as I ate my not so good snack tonight, I took a deep breath and felt peace....and tonight when I tuck in my cozy bed, and read my book, I will take a minute Thank God for all I have,bless my family and friends, and tell my husband I love him...... what a nice feeeling............................. ( hope it lasts lol)

I LOVE NORWEX!

We all have to clean and we all want to be environmentally friendly, and with NORWEX products you can! Ihave recently decided to sell these great products. I clean a lot and am tired of using chemicals, norwex is chemical free and environmentally friendly. As of right now I use their MICROFIBRE cleaning cloths and mirror cloths. I also use their mop, face cloths and mit duster! Oh but the best thing is the spray for HOCKEY BAGS and SPORT equipment! I so needed that. I actually can't wait to show my family and friends the great products! My goal is not to make money, but to spread the word. Hey and if I reap some benefits from that ,then that is all good too!!! I will have a website soon.. for now you can visit www.norwex.com

GROCERIES---UGH

If only someone would come up with a pill that would fill you up and give you all your daily nutrition! lol.. I just went grocery shopping and the bill was almost $350.00. Thats just crazy, how do families that are struggling even eat? Today was 15% off, so that did indeed help, but sheesh I know that I will be back to the store near the end of the week. I said to Mike, next year we should rent one of those plots and grow our own vegetables...(oh no I am going to be a gargner lol). Seriously groceries are getting so expensive and there seems to be no end in site for rising prices, and it just plain scares me. Just my beef for the day....