Now what?

The wonderful weekend of hiking, laughing, eating, drinking and bonding,has come to an end. It was the best trip we have had, it was peaceful, beautiful and appreciated on so many levels. Now back home, the routines have begun again. Yesterday I found myself wondering what now? I even felt a little depressed, and out of place. I hate to say it but I didnt really miss my family all that much in the 3 nights I was gone. I am hoping that is normal and doesnt make me an awful Mom. My kids didnt really miss me either, I think they were glad to be alone with their dad. He is more fun of course, I am the one with all the crazy rules.

While my husband and I were walking , in the early morning today, I was telling him how I need to find something else to do in the Fall. I have no idea what, but I know I dont want to substitute teach, and that is what he thinks I should do. I find it very unfilling and I dont think I really want to be around more kids. I wish I knew what it was I need to do, I know I can not just stay home all day, it is very boring for me.. But I also do not want to work full time. I still need to keep this place organized and running smoothely, if only for my own sanity. I hope I figure it out,,,, I don't know why I am always searching for more, and I am not just content with the way things are.. I actually doubt I will ever have the answer to that question,,,,, so I will just keep searching and hope to find what I am looking for.