feelings for a Tuesday

I am thinking..why am I writing today? My answer is stress and confusement. Sometimes I just do not understand people. I can try and try but there are certain times I just dont get it. This is one of those times. So after a weekend of not sleeping and feeling very stressed out I have decided, that there are things, I can not control and I need to let it go. Even if my heart aches and my mind thinks it is right. I have to let it go.

So today I ponder and write. about the fragility of our lives. How we really need to embrace each day ,,,try to make it a great day..not just a good day.. Now that is hard to do ,,I know.. because I am an emotionally driven person. My mood can change faster than the wind.

Today I have decided to get back into teaching, just as a substitute teacher. I will probably be working by next week.

I have mixed feelings about this decision I have made. I am scared. I am scared of giving up my free time, ( i know selfish) ..I am scared that my house will become a pit... I am scared I will be bitchy.. I am scared that i wont be the one who is available to the people who need me,, at the drop of a dime....

but,,, I am also excited about using my education again... About being around other working adults. I am excted about helping kids and maybe being a postive influence,, even just to one child,, I am excited to make some money.. my money!!

So time will tell...... I hope this is a good decision.......

What a beautiful day!

It's Indian Summer! What a week we are having. Its above 20 all week , yesterday was 25! I really love Indian summer, it just puts you in a good mood. This morning I got up at 5:30 and went for a walk. The air was crisp but not in a way that made you cold. I walked until 7:30 am and watched the sun coming up. Such a simple thing, like a sunrise can really set the tone for the day.

I will enjoy the weather today and all week...because this will end and the winter will creep in and my mood will shift. SO ENJOY TODAY!!!!!

He seems to be gone

Orby, that is. We had frost last night and today I can't find him. His web is not redone either and I dont see an egg sac........ who knows..... bye bye Orby

This is our resident spider ORBY

This is ORBY... He is a Jewel Spider ,,,We had a bit of infestation of these last year and this year we had quite a few too. When we would see one we would kill them.... But for some reason I couldnt kill this one. He has been on our deck for about 1 month. He is actually kind of pretty an orange rusty color. The others are more whitish in color. Makes me think he is a male. Anyway we have watched him eat flies etc. He would come out at night, hide in the day. Yesterday I went to check on him, (I know wierd.) And his web was broken and I couldnt find him.. But just a few minutes ago I found him tucked under the lip of the roof. I am wondering why his web is broken and if he is done with his circle of life....... I will keep watching...

Just some pics I took,,,,,

Fishing With hubby

Today Mike and I went Fishing on the Red Deer River. It was a beautiful day and we found a nice spot. First cast I caught a Brown trout, which apparently are hard to catch here. I think it was about 3 pounds. Mike caught 3 gold eye.. It was such a fun afternoon so peaceful I cant wait to do it again!

Ever Wonder

Why some people make such a difference in other people's lives?

Today I was watching Good Morning America and there was an 12 year old boy, who was amazing. He really loved trains and saved pop can money so his whole class could have a ride on an old train. He raised more money on his own and more children were able to take this special train ride, that otherwise they could not afford. However, children with disabilities were not able to take the train ride, because it was built in the early days, and was not equipped for wheel chairs ,etc,,, So he was on a mission to raise money ,through his web page , to change that. His Mom was so touched, that she began to write to Ty (the extreme make over team) and now they are going to make the train accessible for people with disabilities. There was a Mom with twin boys, who both are in wheel chairs, and

she expressed how touched she was by this 12 year old boys efforts.

I watched this and shed a few tears, of joy and admiration.. and I was left wondering why is it that some people are so great, and why like me, I have done nothing of the sort........ I suppose it just takes action, like this boy.. Really made me think today what more can I do for others?