I am thinking..why am I writing today? My answer is stress and confusement. Sometimes I just do not understand people. I can try and try but there are certain times I just dont get it. This is one of those times. So after a weekend of not sleeping and feeling very stressed out I have decided, that there are things, I can not control and I need to let it go. Even if my heart aches and my mind thinks it is right. I have to let it go.
So today I ponder and write. about the fragility of our lives. How we really need to embrace each day ,,,try to make it a great day..not just a good day.. Now that is hard to do ,,I know.. because I am an emotionally driven person. My mood can change faster than the wind.
Today I have decided to get back into teaching, just as a substitute teacher. I will probably be working by next week.
I have mixed feelings about this decision I have made. I am scared. I am scared of giving up my free time, ( i know selfish) ..I am scared that my house will become a pit... I am scared I will be bitchy.. I am scared that i wont be the one who is available to the people who need me,, at the drop of a dime....
but,,, I am also excited about using my education again... About being around other working adults. I am excted about helping kids and maybe being a postive influence,, even just to one child,, I am excited to make some money.. my money!!
So time will tell...... I hope this is a good decision.......
1 comment:
Good for you Edie! Finding what makes you truly happy is SO important in life.
About your worries and stress from others. Remember. You can't change what others do or think, but you can change how your allow yourself to react to it. All the best sweetie! Love ya!
(hugs!)
Steph
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